What to do for a mother who has just given birth.

I have come across various articles and suggestions on what to do for a woman who has just given birth, so I thought I would compile my own :)

1. Bring a meal in a disposable pan. Include disposable plates, cups, and eating utensils. Drop it off without your own children an leave. Don't stick around.
2. Do her laundry. Don't just offer, tell her "I am here. Where is your dirty laundry? I will bring it back tomorrow." then gather her laundry and leave. When you drop it off the next day, include a dozen doughnuts or chocolate chip cookies and a gallon of milk.
3. Clean a room (or 2 or 3 or 5) for her. Again, tell her you are there to help her and you will not accept "No", for an answer. But, remember, you are not there to visit, be quiet and disappear once the job is done.
4. Go grocery shopping for her. She has given birth and does not need to be on her feet for more than a few minutes at a time until she is completely healed.
5. Drop off her "thank you" notes at the post office, or any other mail she may have.
6. Buy her a few packages of black underwear and some pads.
7. Drop off breakfast. Everybody forgets that families need food in the morning, too. This can be a few boxes of doughnuts or a few biscuit sandwiches from Hardees.
8. If she has a cat, change its litter box. If she has a dog, take it for a walk. Feed them, too.
9. Clean out her refrigerator
10. Help her other children with their school work.
11. Do her dishes that have piled up in the sink, on the coffee table, and on her nightstand. Load and unload her dishwasher.
12. Water her plants, garden, and/or lawn.
13. Clean out her car.
14. Restock her bathroom with plenty of toilet paper and change out the trash.
15. Run any other errands she has.

Remember, you are not there to visit or hold the baby, you are there to be a real help. She may want the company, and that is fine, stay and visit. But do it only if she asks you to stay. Do not offer to do anything for her. Do not ask if there is anything she needs or if there is anything you can do to help, but rather, tell her you are there to help. Do not take "No," for an answer. Do not overstay your visit either.

Personally for me, I hated the idea of being separated from any of my children, so it was hurtful to think that someone wanted to take them away from me, so asking to take the other children might not be a good idea. I also wanted people to visit with me; some women do not.