Is this real?

As I sit here and type this, my house is full of noise. The boys are running around and the mood is a calm chaos.

At times, it doesn't seem like I'm gonna get through. There is a constant mess, constant noise, constant busy-ness. But its life.

Not one day is ever the same. I am so blessed not miss out on one single thing that happens in these boys' lives. I get all the hugs and kisses and "Mommy, I love you"s that I could ever want. And none of it get old.

I get to be the one who teaches them to read. I get to be the one who sees their imaginations unfurl. I get to kiss every bumped head or skinned knee. I get to see how they problem solve. I get to see my boys being each others best friends. I get to see the selflessness of my children.

It's priceless.

God entrusted me with his heritage; they are not my own. I am so grateful I finally understand what that means.

I am so honored God chose me to bring another child into this world. And I will be grateful for every child He gives me, whether it is a baby I can hold in this world or in Glory.

I am not a perfect mother, but yet God chose me to be the mother to these children. He chose me to be the wife to this man. And so many times I feel so unworthy.

I lose my patience, although, I am finding that I am more longsuffering now than I was when I had just one child. My house is a mess, but I've let go of perfection (and let go of some of the pride involved). If its good enough for my family, then it's good enough for my guests.

But there is good that has come out of this. I pray more and I seek forgiveness more. I read my Bible a lot more. What more can I do? Its all I have and it's enough, surprisingly.

We trust the LORD with our family size. I don't want to say we are "quiverfull" because we are not part of a movement, but we are just living in obedience to God and his Holy Word. It is complete submission to Him. There is a line in a song written by a young girl in our church. that says, "Give me strength to be free... Oh my God, I'll trust in Thee"

To tell you the truth, I never once thought my life would be anything like this. But it is amazing the joy the LORD will bring you when you are submitted to him and living daily by His Word. The LORD has done a work in my life and in my heart, I can do nothing but sing praises to him. This joy is not a result of anything I have done, but because of the work of Jesus Christ in me.

It's real. The ups and the downs and the calm and the chaos; it's all real. I am so blessed that I get to be the keeper of this home.

Thank You, LORD for your Holy Word, Your promise of Salvation, and these beautiful blessings you have entrusted to me. I can not do it without You, LORD. Let me never forget that. Let me cling ever closer to You, my Rock. Thank You for living in freedom and not bondage; not bondage to the Law or to Sin, but in freedom in obedience to you. I love You, LORD.

Happy Mother's Day.